hai... its freaking confusing... do you really love this family?? if you do, why hell are you doing this... everytime i see you i feel u are so fake... until you realised what you've done... i will not answer any f***ing qns u ask me, or even tok to u... just leave me alone.

seems like, as always... my presence is unfelt... uncalled for... probably shudden even appear... it aches... it aches really hard... but what can i do about it... i'm nothing compared to him... heaven n hell... and obviously i'm closer to hell... duh....
no matter what i do... what i say... how hard i try... i always lose...
you don't listen to me... you only listen to him... and i seem like a dumb person... waiting waiting... but i know.. that it'll never happen.. it never happens... only once...
i'll have to face both of you tml... i wonder if i can hold on much longer... even if he says he wont... it doesn't help at all.. if fact... makes me feel even worse... even more... inferior.... like some pile of crap... hai...

being loved is easy... but loving someone... takes a toll on you...